Processing Grief with Art

By :Justin Sykes | Center for Rest & Well-Being Coordinator at VACV

There are many reasons to grieve these days. Staying motivated and moving through grief is a challenge and I know I'm not the only one struggling to get up and create purpose every day. 

In order to move through grief, rather than getting stuck in it, it must be acknowledged, cared for, nurtured and released. Over and over again. Feelings are meant to be expressed not bottled up. But how does one express pain without also causing more pain? Finding ways to express pain and grief in constructive ways rather than destructive is based in a practice of intention. 

I often say, my artworks are the tears I can't shed. 

My art is the words I can’t quite speak, or better yet, my art says all I wish to say with a level of expression that goes beyond words. 

When my jaw locks shut, I express my grief, my sorrow, and my joys with my hands. 

My art has evolved to take many forms. I create collages when I wish to cry. I lift weights when I wish to scream and punch. I paint when I wish to roll on the floor and give up. I write poems when my despair makes it too hard to finish a sentence. 

In a world that teaches you violence, one must choose over and over to be gentle. It takes strength to be gentle, especially to oneself. 

Gently ripping pages out of magazines.

Gently cutting out words or beautiful seashells or little moments in time.

Gently placing each cut out, making sure my breath doesn't blow them away.

Gently gluing them together.  

This process takes me hours, time to think and reflect, grieve, and process. A process that in practice involves patience, tenderness,  and in reality helps me move through  anger that stops me in my tracks. turns my face red, and leaves my jaw wired shut. 

At the end of this process comes joy, because now I have a physical tangible creation to mark this moment of time. To mark another moment I chose to be gentle with my grief. 

It takes strength to be gentle and tender to yourself. Tap into your Inner Strength. 

I know you are grieving. 

I know you have the strength to move through this grief.

I know you have the strength to be gentle with yourself. 

Call a friend, scream into your pillow, or create a tiny piece of art. 

Your grief is valid, your grief is seen.